One of my friends tried to kill herself last night. Thankfully, her boyfriend was there to stop her before any blood was drawn… but still. My roommate was apparently on her way to our friends house when this was happening… so when she got there, our friend was practically comatose on her bed & her boyfriend was crying in the living room… and praying. I wish I hadn’t put my phone on ‘alarm only’ so I could’ve heard it ring when my roommate tried to call me. Maybe if I had heard it ring I could… well, I’m not going to think about that. I just need to remind myself that none of this is my fault. It’s hard, though. I don’t know why it would be my fault, but I still can’t help feeling a little guilty. Most of all, I feel helpless. I don’t know what to do. Should we call the police? Put her on suicide watch? I don’t know. I don’t know why she would try to take her own life. It’s made me very confused and worried. There was a big miscommunication last week, apparently, & she thought my roommate & I was ignoring her… but that wasn’t true & we did try to tell her that. I don’t know if that had anything to do with it or if it was something else. I’m glad my roommate had the forsight to call our friend’s sister & let her know what’s going on. Apparently our friend tried to take her life once before… after an argument she had with her sister. So this makes me think it could possibly be my fault also… because of that whole thing this last week. I know, logically, it’s not… but I still can’t help wondering that.
We (me, my roommate, & our friend) had a talk last night so we could try to clear up the mess that was created. It didn’t go as I’d hoped… eventhough my friend apologized to me & told me she wasn’t really mad at me at all because I truly hadn’t done what she thought I did. But it was still a mess afterwards. She was still mad at my roommate. Then our friend’s boyfriend called my roommate & asked her to go over to talk w/him & our friend… he’s our friend too & he wanted to see if he could help & be a mediator for the two girls. I’m actually very grateful for him for trying to help. Now I wish I would have gone with my roommate because then maybe I could have done something. I don’t know. I was asleep when my roommate told me she was going to see our friend because her boyfriend called & asked her too… and she reassured me that I didn’t need to go because it was something the two of them needed to figure out. But still… I don’t know. I really don’t know what to think.
Why would she do that? Why would she try to end her life over a misunderstanding/argument? Is that really what was going on or was there something else? I have so many questions, but no answers. My friend’s sister advised me & my roommate to give our friend some time/space. She suggested that we not try to interfere or anything… that that’s what our friend wants… to be alone for right now. I’m not sure that’s the right thing to do… especially if she’s still contemplating suicide. If something happens to her, I don’t know what I’m going to do. Why is this happening? What’s going on.
I don’t understand.
It’s fantastically charming and a definite winner, in my book!
heheh)
